Sylvie Corlouër, grandmother of Elouan 6 years old and Evangélyne 3 years old (Brittany)
Grandmother for 7 years now, I thought I was doing pretty well with my grandchildren until the day I saw myself doing what I had been Grandmother for 7 years now, I thought I was doing pretty well with my children. little children until the day when I saw myself doing what I had promised myself never to do with them, i.e. reacting impulsively under the influence of emotion, without taking theirs into account and suddenly create suffering for all of us. I had to realize that the framework I had put in place was not enough to have a healthy and rewarding relationship with them. It was then that I met Anne Julie and she told me about her CroiXx method. Even if a lot of things seemed a little nebulous to me at the beginning, I tried the experiment by letting my daughter in the confidence and it was the miracle that I did not expect any more. Because by using his method it is not promised to never do with them, that is to say react impulsively under the influence of emotion, without taking theirs into account and suddenly create suffering for all of us. I had to realize that the framework I had put in place was not enough to have a healthy and rewarding relationship with them. It was then that I met Anne Julie and she told me about her CroiXx method. Even if a lot of things seemed a little nebulous to me at the beginning, I tried the experiment by letting my daughter in the confidence and it was the miracle that I did not expect any more. Because by using his method, it is not only our relationships that improve but it is also our outlook on our little ones and on our functioning that change. EVERYBODY COMES A WINNER. I no longer need to get upset, I almost always find the right words which brings about a more serene relationship even if there are still old reflexes which are manifesting themselves, I see immediately what I have to correct. My relationship with my daughter has softened considerably. We have real relationships, we can discuss the education of our little loves starting from the same bases, those of the happiness of each in confidence and respect. She listens to me, we have a real dialogue. My grandchildren no longer seek systematically to get our attention by doing stupid things, but by finding ways that make them proud and suddenly that they are happy to offer us to obtain CroiXx. Even the emotions that once overwhelmed them are seen and heard, and last just long enough to be released. We are no longer in the reaction but in the intention to act to improve the well-being. What I like most is the end-of-day report where we say things without anger with frankness. The confidences, the feelings which are expressed in these moments are for me like magnificent nuggets of love. The rOnds are less and less numerous, and the CroiXx are spent with happiness. Of course, there are days when fatigue and / or events put a strain on the system but we get away with it honorably because we know that no one is perfect and that tomorrow is another day. Step by step, the CroiXx method brings us towards self-esteem and taking into account the true value of each person.
Joachim, director (Switzerland)
The CroiXx came to us in 2017. My little ones were 6 and 8 years old at the time. I had been separated from their mother for over two years. I have a more than demanding job and although I carry my children in my heart and that I will damn myself for them … good doing does not always mean doing well. I wanted to make them happy and give them as much time as possible, I assured them Christmases that looked like department store inventory, they went to a good school with nice clothes and they ate more than they did. their hunger. And yet neither my children nor I were really happy.
We lived to the rhythm of a well-run grind, everything went smoothly, but the hugs were fleeting, the moments spent together were more like tune-ups than moments of harmony and sharing. I expressed my anger and distributed the punishments, I spent my time sending them to their room and they spent their time nibbling. I was unhappy with this finding, but honestly, I didn’t know how to do otherwise, I consoled myself by thinking:
“At least I don’t hit them
with big belts
as I have been ”
I didn’t have time to invest myself more in this relationship which was becoming very time consuming.
Anne Julie introduced me to her CroiXx and told me about relational autonomy. I was struggling between my lack of time and the weeks when I had children. You have to know how to pick up children every time they pass from one parent to another. This is not an easy task.
I was stuck a little on the term relational autonomy. I believed, before I experienced it, that it was about letting the kids do it independently, letting them experience whatever they had to experience. I thought of this notion as some kind of hippie method of uneducated and unconscious parenting. I was initially against this idea. But on the other hand, this system of rewarding good deeds by the CroiXx and the rOnds mode – which I thought was punitive – appealed to me quite a bit. I needed more control due to lack of time.
I was also a little on my guard about the pay system. Honestly, at 6, I wasn’t going to pay him any pocket money. I was ticking again that the kids wouldn’t do anything for free anymore. But hey, in the back of my mind I was saying to myself … if that can save me time! In fact, I was completely wrong and I’m happy today that Anne Julie insisted.
I gave my consent for a week’s trial. I thought I could try the CroiXx like this! I did not know at the beginning that these CroiXx were going to be a real revolution.
Anne Julie patiently explained to my two little ones the CroiXx system, the rules of the game, the constraints of the rOnds and the rewards, how to earn points, how to freeze your cube, how to buy beautiful clothes, how to block a week -end or reserve an hour of TV.
I was already amazed that the children just sit there listening for more than ten minutes. Especially the little one. In less time than it took to say it, I see them starting to draw CUBES on their notebooks. The children had not only made a pact, but entered it delighted.
That same evening the relationship with my children had changed. The evening report was full of beautiful things. I was able to lay my foundations quietly. I didn’t have to scream anymore. I got a real goodnight hug, sincere, lighter, less worried. The hug no longer had this heavy task of reassuring, but it was well and truly shared.
When you’re caught up in the day-to-day and the guilt, like I was, you don’t always notice how the children suffer from it, and neither do we. But when you see the change, when you taste it or realize it, it might be a bit of a sudden change, but one thing is for sure, you don’t want to back down.
I thought I could put my kids on a leash with the CroiXx a bit because I didn’t want them to spin bad cotton and especially because I was running out of time. Always this time problem due to my work.
By letting relational autonomy into our lives, I freed us. With the CroiXx, children love you for who you are and no longer for what you buy or what you promise. And it’s true the other way around, too. This method finally allows me to see my children flourish not because of my efforts, but because the recognition I offer them finally allows them to do so. It’s a bit like receiving glasses, or new perceptions, to finally see the magnificent beings who share my life.
CroiXx are very easy to apply, especially for children – Daddy’s word – it’s me who always has a little trouble understanding them.